Thursday, January 15, 2009

Unsettling Thoughts Tonight...

A few weeks ago, I posted about my grandfather being very sick and that he was in the hospital.

Well since that time, he's been in and out of the hospital several more times. Last week, he was released with the news that there's nothing more that can be done for him. My grandfather is 83 years old and has struggled with cancer for the last couple of years now. He stopped eating a few days ago and sleeps most of the day now.

My mom is having a very difficult time with this. I am okay with him passing, but I've had a lot of unsettling thoughts tonight (and most of the day) that I haven't been able to shake. My mom comes from a big family with 11 siblings. Unfortunately, my grandfather's failed health has taken a toll on my extended family members . There are too many opinions, too many people wanting to make decisions, too many people getting upset, too many people causing drama...need I say more? You get the picture, right?

So, my unsettling thoughts are why does this happen with families when death is near and it's so obvious that during a time like this that family should be closer than ever? This is so disturbing to me. I plan on visiting with my grandfather and mom tomorrow. I must admit that I am somewhat dreading the visit since there are so many family members there and all of these issues going on. Believe me, I'll stick out like a sore thumb!

I ask a favor of you to say a prayer on my grandfather's behalf. Pray that he is able to pass this life in peace and also pray that my extended family members can also have peace and patience with one another. Pray that they will be drawn closer together instead of farther apart.

As always, THANKS!

41 comments:

Jennifer Raack said...

During stressful times it is typical for families to fight with each other. Anger is a much stronger emotion than hurt and it is much easier to deal with than the pain when you are hurting (which is why it rears it's ugly head during difficult times). Anger is almost always masked hurt...so keep that in mind when you are dealing with your family members.

I'm praying for you and your family. For a peaceful passing for grandpa and for peace amongst those who love him.

My deepest sympathies for you old friend!

Alicia said...

You got it, Daphine! It's weird how a death of a parent can even separate siblings. But, we know we serve an awesome God, and He can make a way when there seems there is none.

Let us know how your visit goes!!

HUGS,
Alicia

Edie said...

Jennifer had some great thoughts there. I have already prayed for your grandpa, your family, and for you Daphine. God be with you friend.

Liz said...

I have questioned this same thing before. I have heard so many stories about families not even speaking anymore after a death. It's really sad.

I will pray for your Grandfather and your family.

The Thompson's said...

Daphine,

My grandmother went thru the same thing with cancer, hospice care, not eating, all of that.

It isnt a easy time for anyone, and everyone greives differently.

Our prayers are with you during this time. We pray that God takes him peacefully into the Kingdom, and that all those close celebrate his life.

For he has fought the good fight, he will finish the course, he has kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for him a crown of righteousness which the Lord, the righteous Judge shall give him on that day.
2 Timothy 4:7-8

Our Love and Prayers Always,

Tim

He And Me + 3 said...

Times like this are stressful for everyone...so, I remember to keep your family in my prayers.

Brenda Heisler said...

Yes, I'll say a prayer. May you find comfort in knowing that so many people care.

April said...

Wish I could give you a big ol' hug, Daphine! I know all too well the scenario you wrote about and it is very hard to go through. Unfortunately, there are never any easy answers.

I think what's happening, perhaps, is that everyone is struggling so hard to hold onto your grandfather for "just a little while longer". It's so difficult to let go when your heart tells you to hold on tight. Regardless of age, you're just never quite ready to let someone die, regardless of the situation. I think this is especially true when it's your parent.

I will most definitely say a prayer for you and your family. I will ask God to bring you peace...and acceptance. We all know that God is in control of our destiny. As the saying goes..."Let go and let God."

God Bless You!!! I love ya! ♥

Lorrie said...

Daphine I think that April has really gotten right to the heart of it. It's just very hard to let go of a loved one, and people's emotions get in the way of what they may know to be the right thing.

Praying for you and for your visit with your grandpa. Hugs!

Stacey said...

You've got prayers from me. I know it must be very hard.

Denise said...

Your family, especially your grandfather will be in my prayers sweetie.

coco said...

I think every family struggles this way in a time of crisis...I too have witnessed it in my own family. I think Jennifer explained it well. Praying for you and your family.

Mod Girl said...

Daphine, I will pray. I'm sorry this is such a difficult time.

Kristin said...

Daphine,

Will be praying for you and your family and for your Grandfather. May God's peace fill the room as you visit him, and may it continue to surround you all.

Kristin

Laura said...

I have never had to go through anything like this before, but I definitely know how to pray :) I hope your time with your mom and grandfather is nice and enjoyable.

Laura

Everyday Mom Designs said...

I'm sorry that this is happening. I will be thinking of you and your family.

Jill said...

Oh how sad. I will pray for you and your family.

Lindsay-ann said...

I will pray for your whole family Daphine. I hope that you get to spend some special time alone with your Grandfather when you visit. I am sending you a big hug and want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers this weekend.
Lindsay

Darlene said...

I am so sorry your whole family is going through this. I know it must be very hard. I will keep you all in my prayers for peace to all concerned.♥

I read your post below and YAY Gooch is sure part of the family now. I am glad that you do love your little pooch...I knew you would.

Also, YOU LIVE RIGHT WHERE WE WENT????????? ***SQUEAL**** Well, I can assure you friend that we will be going back to that HomeGoods. We might have to make a lunch date and meet when we do. Wouldn't that be too much fun!!!!! I am looking forward to it! That area looks like it is really booming with growth.

Heather said...

i'm sorry Daphine. I'll add you and your grandpa to my prayers. It will be hard tomorrow, but you're strong, you'll be ok. He'll be so happy to see you even if he can't show you.
i'm sorry about the family too. unfortunately i just think it's everyone's fear getting the best of them and making them lash out at each other. i hope they can let go of that fear and pull together.

Life with Kaishon said...

I have been praying for him since you posted the pictures. Praying! Praying! Praying! Big hug to you Daphine! I am also praying for no drama! Who needs it?

Lee said...

I will be praying for you and your family, and your grandfather especially.
I think when the time comes your family will come closer together. The dust hasn't settled yet and so everyone is in a sort of panic.
Hopefully you all will find a peaceful middle ground soon.

4 Lettre Words said...

So very sad, Daphine. My mom's family is much smaller, but recently went trhough the same thing...and they are all good people. Amazing, huh?

I will be praying for you, your grandfather and the rest of your family.

LisaShaw said...

I will certainly pray as you asked.

My Grandpa, who was my hero, went to be with the Lord, October 2007. I understand some of what you're saying.

Love ya.

Alicia, The Snowflake said...

I'm sorry to hear that Daphine. You are right it happens too often when families should be bonding together instead. I'll say a prayer for you my friend.

Hang in there!
{{{Hugs}}}

Beth E. said...

Daphine,
I am praying for your grandfather and for unity and peace in your family. Your first commenter, Jennifer, is absolutely right!

Blessings to you my friend.

Anonymous said...

I am praying for your grandfather and your family. Family should come together at a times like this but sometimes it brings us further apart.

I am praying for you Daphine.

Tonya

Mama Hen said...

I'm sorry your family is having to go through this right now.

Shanda said...

I will be praying for your family during this very stressful time.

Michele said...

I'll share my experience and then I'll pray that your family issue will settle and quiet down for your grandfather's sake. In my family when we lost my grandparents (they both passed in a fairly close proximity of time) something happended to the whole family, everyone just ended up going in different directions. My aunts and cousins, etc. My grandparents were the glue that brought us all together. I will pray that your family recognizes the bigger picture in all this sorrow and that is to hang on tight to each other and forgive because life is just too short to have such discourse between family. I will also pray for your grandfather, that he will be carried to Heaven on the angels wings.

Sandy Toes said...

I will pray for him...as I type this my father in law is having open heart surgery..we are all on pins and needles!
-sandy toe

Carrie said...

Your family is in my prayers!

Brandi said...

Daphine,

I think families tend to act like this when death is near because they feel out of control. You can't control death and people hate when they can't control situations! So, they all scramble to make decisions, to feel some sort of control. It is just a coping mechanism. Just know that most people are trying to make the best decision they can at such a difficult time.

I prayed for you, your family, and your grandfather today. I prayed that your family would grow closer during this time and not further apart.

I will be thinking about you and your family!

michele said...

Thank God your grandfather has lived a long life... but yes, the toll it takes on a family.. and how all of this affects people differently... it is so hard. I will PRAY!
take care...

my email: michelej@accima.com

Susan said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to read this Daphine.

I'll be praying for you and your family.

Stress can do this. I pray this will all turn out differently and everyone will get closer.

Keep holding on my friend♥

Jessica and Matt said...

Daphine, I'm sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, I am more familiar with this phenomenon than I would like to be. I do not understand why death makes people ugly and crazy. I'm sure it is the hurt, and everyone wants to blame someone, so it's just lashing out, I guess.

Well, I hope you had a nice visit with your grandpa, and I will certainly pray for the peace of your entire family.

Love you. :)

Davisix said...

Daphine, I could unfortunately write a book about this. My aunt and grandfather both passed in 08 and since then I have family members that don't speak. I don't understand it either. I just stay out of it. I'm sorry you're going through this. Praying...xoxo Ang

Nicolle said...

Daphine, I am sorry about your grandfather, but I am glad that you have found a peace for when he passes. I am lifting you up in prayer this morning for this to go easy for the rest of your family members, and that they may all get along. It's hard when things like this happen upon a death.

Jennifer said...

Praying that your grandfather will have a peaceful homecoming. Praying and sending hugs to you.

Tarah said...

((hugs))
I will be praying for you. What hard times. May you find a blessing in today.

The Quintessential Magpie said...

Daphine, you are such a precious person. I will be happy to pray for your family. Why am I just seeing this? I thought I had been to your blog, but I'm just seeing it right now. Sending a great big hug to you and praying that God's very own ultra Peace will settle over the entire situation.

XO,

Sheila :-)