Friday, August 1, 2008

Jae's Ultrasound

I can really appreciate that Jae's doctor wants to be extra precautious about Jae's limping this week, but another trip to the hospital??

I made a point of not telling Jae that we were going to the hospital until we were on the way. She wasn't happy. Don't worry. We didn't have the same experience as last time. She still wouldn't sit in the chairs in the waiting room, but she didn't say too much this time.

In any case, to save the words on all the prep time once there....we'll just skip to the actual ultrasound.

It was the same kind of ultrasound that they do on pregnant women. I was trying to help Jae stay relaxed. At first the tech was very talkative to us. Then she became very quiet. The room was totally silent for about two minutes, but it seemed more like ten. I made the mistake (for my comfort) of asking her if everything looked okay. She said that she was not supposed to discuss anything with the patient and that a Radiologist would look at it and call Jae's doctor. Okay, I was already thinking the worst.

The tech not only took an ultrasound of the side of Jae's right leg that was hurting a few days ago, but she also said that she wanted to go ahead and take a look at the left leg as well. First of all, they (the hospital) don't just decide to casually throw you a bone for free. So, I was thinking that she wanted make comparison of what may have been wrong. She's still wasn't saying a word. She left us in the room for about ten minutes. I was trying to stay calm and collected in front of Jae and Morgan. I literally had to mumble, "God please let nothing be wrong with my Jae Belle." Unfortunately, Morgan did sense my fear and tried to comfort me.

The door opened and the tech came in and informed us that eveything was fine. Before I could ask, she said that they had to call the doctor with the results before telling the patient. Why all the weirdness though, right? Who knows? I'm just glad it's over and my Jae Belle is just fine!

I also shared this last part with a friend tonight and would like to share with you all as well;

As we were waiting in the ultrasound room, I remember thinking of a couple of times in my life where I had ultrasounds performed and experienced this same kind of silence and sick feeling. It was the times that I had miscarried my two babies (carried at different times) and hearing the words that my babies had no heartbeat. It's been over a decade and God has completely healed my heart from the pain and the hurt, and from the loss. I am freely able to talk about this and encourage others as I know I should. I'm just not quite sure yet of why I was reminded of this today.

And....no I am not pregnant!

But, I trust God to reveal His reasons for all of this at a later time.

4 comments:

Jessica & Matt said...

I'm so glad that little girl is okay! I was nervous just reading this! I do wonder, though, what they were looking for...

Jennifer Raack said...

From my experience with sonograms, because our bodies don't all look exactly the same (our God is creative and made us different), sometimes the tech needs to compare both limbs to ensure that things they see are actually normal for our body.......at least, that's what they've done with me before.

Perhaps you were reminded of your two precious little ones in this moment because it was God's way of saying, "Jae is the child I have blessed you with. I made her just for you..."

You know, Jae would not be Jae had she not had the birth parents she had. And, without the great loss you experienced, you probably never would have met Jae, but God wanted you to have her and He brought her to you in His own perfect way.

Sometimes when we are reminded of what we have lost, we are also reminded of what we have gained. I thank God that He provides for us in every situation!

Okay, now I just wrote a book on your comments...sorry!

Marla Scott said...

I hear you on that last. It's not the same situation, but it doesn't stop you from feeling like you might lose something important to you when you feel you've been blessed.

I'm glad Jae is okay!

Anonymous said...

I am so glad that she is fine, I understand your feelings. Going to the hospital is not a great place, specially if it is for your kids.

Ingrid