Monday, September 29, 2008

Daddy's Not Strange

I was desperately trying to explain to Jae, our youngest, why she couldn't have a friend over when I wasn't home. She felt the need to remind me that Dad was going to be home, though.

So, our conversation went something like this;

"Mom, since Dad is going to be home, can't I pleasssssssssssssssssse have a friend come over?"

"Jae, you're just not allowed to have friends over when Mom is not at home"

"But, why?" she asked.

"Well, some Moms really don't like their little girls to be around strange men." I said.

"Mom, Dad is not strange to me."

Thank God that Dirk walked into the room in time to help me with this one.

"Dad, can you help explain to Jae why little girls can't come over when I'm not home?" I asked.

"Well, Jae, like mom was saying, some Moms don't like for their little girls to be around Dads when the Mom is not at home."

Okay, we both felt like we were talking in circles and because of Jae's age, it's still really hard to explain this to her.

She finally just said, "Well, that's just weird."

We've just never allowed our girls to have little friends over when I am not at home. This may sound strange to most people, but we would like think of it as being wise.

I mentioned this to a friend earlier today and she was telling me that she'd never even thought of the possible repercusions of allowing her little girl's friends to come over when she wasn't at home.

I know that this is way out there for some people. We've just never compromised on this with our girls. Even more so today, it's just not worth taking a chance on things getting twisted.

Alright, tell me your thoughts on this.


Wendy said...

Hey Daphine! I'm loving your Blog! I'm now a "Follower".
In the UK this is a big issue, we are very very aware of stuff like this but sometimes it gets a little out of hand.
I've been approached for taking pictures of my Son in the Park,and its very frowned upon, taking photo's if another child will appear in the Frame, without the parents prior permission.
My Son starts "Beavers" tonight and I can't photograph him going in with the other kids.Thats a shame.
You are being wise about not allowing Girlfriends home when you're not about,just avoids any potential problems or misunderstandings,very sad state of affairs though huh, that we fel like this :-( .

Wendy said...

Daphine, I've Tagged you on my Blog!! Check it out, hope you choose to play along..x..

Anonymous said...

I think this is a good rule. Although Bryan and I don't have children we still talk about these things. He would never be alone with my nieces or friend's children. It's better to be safe than sorry. Anything can be taken out of context and plus some children are not very nice and will make up lies about you. Or can be coached by the parents looking for something out of it. We have watched this many times on the ID or Crime TV channels. These types of events can ruin a life forever. There is no point in taking chances.

April said...

I completely agree with the decision you and Dirk have made. Chris and I have the same rule. I'm sorry, but we live in a society where one thing can easily be interpreted a completely different way. For us, it's way better to not take any chances. Stick to your guns!! :)

Anonymous said...

You are 110% right. And I have to agree with some of the other comments that it is truly a shame that we even have to think this way.

Jill said...

Your daughters are beautiful! I'm awaiting the day I'll have those kinds of conversations with my daughter.

Jaelan said...

Hey-I must admit, I'm a blog stalker. I'm JessicaBurk's little sister, and my name is also Jaelan :)

You know, that makes since. I've never even thought about that, but in this day in age, you cannot be too careful. When she's old enough she will appreciate what you've done for her.

Anonymous said...

I agree, I don't even let Matthew go to a friend's house if the mom isn't going to be home. That's probaby being way too protective.!!! But, I have the same rule for all of them, they cannot have friends over if I am not going to be home.

Matthew, has missed a few cub scouts activities because of this or that, and the Cub Leader offered him a ride. I politely, said "No" Cub Leader or Not I don't know you(of course, I didn't say this to him but thats what I was thinking)

You can never be too careful. Too many things are happening which is sad because it wasn't that way when we were growing up.

Vickie G

Jennifer Raack said...

We have the exact same rule in our house. I would never want my husband to be in a position where ANYTHING could be misconstrude. As a rule of thumb, it is safest to have both parents home when there is a guest over, that way there is never any question.

Of course, this rule does not apply with my nieces because they are almost like our own children because we see them so much!

The only exception to this rule is for children of very close friends. And even still, a little girl won't come over if just the hubby is home and a little boy won't come over if just I'm's just common sense to me!

Heather said...

Hey Daphine! Thank you for checking out my blog. I just finished reading some of your posts and I'm adding you to my list! Your blog is very entertaining. And I agree with this post. I think you two are very smart with the rules. I wish more people thought ahead to prevent any problems in the future. Take care! Hope to see you around again.

Jessica & Matt said...

Girl. I'm totally with you. This is exactly why we have glass doors/windows into each teaching room at the studio, and why we even went as far as putting cameras in every teaching room there! We don't want there to be any question that everything is always on the up & up.

You just have to protect your reputation--now more than ever, because there are so many freaky deaks out there.